haunting memoriesits been 5 years...5 long hard years...trying to forget the past...trying not to think about it...but a dream i had yesterday just messed it all up... dreams are about whatever your subconscious thinks about...so that means i may not be actually thinking about it but it is just simply still in my mind... which means i'm fucked up cos whatever i've been trying to do for the past 5 years has failed...the years spent trying to forget,trying to be a better person, trying not to blame others a whole 100% for everything that went wrong...i have changed,but some parts never can i guess... i dreamt about her yesterday...in the dream she and her bestfriend were staying over at my house...they were studying together and their homes were far so i offered to let them stay over...they stayed in my sister's room...for a couple of times i went into the room just to make sure she was safe...for some reason i just felt like i had to...and when she was awake and smiling,i don't know why but it felt so similar to 5 years ago when i felt my life was so perfect,so happy...and ever since i woke up till now,a piece of my heart has been kinda hoping that i could get back together with her...and i honestly say that i kinda miss her... i don't know what the hell is wrong with me...but i'm not gonna follow my heart at all...here i am thinking of her...but i know that its just a one way street...i cannot be selfish... ~i thank you sincerely for letting me experience what true happiness was,even if it was only for just a short period of time...and i sincerely hope that whatever you do and whoever you are with in future,it works out for you...i wish you all the best...~
