Sunday, February 14, 2010 pseudo-suicidal thoughtshey...i know this post sounds sadistic...but while i was doing my guard duty yesterday and holding my rifle,a thought came to my mind...i was so,so,so tempted to shoot myself with it...not to kill myself,but to just experience that pain,pass out and get hospitalised...sounds stupid,yeah i know...i was thinking about the exact spot to shoot at where i won't puncture any organs...don't ask me how i came to think about that,but i just did...and it really took a lot of effort not to load the rifle and squeeze the trigger...damn,i must be losing control again... ~another random thought...if i ever get hospitalised for something as serious as that,will anyone come down to visit me?~
