Saturday, November 21, 2009 funny as it always ishey...been a while...all i have to say for myself is that i haven't been out for like 14 days??haha...its not like i was being confined or anything...i just didn't feel like going home...i mean honestly,its not like i dislike going home or anything(or maybe i do),but its just that if i only could book out for like 10 hours,i rather not book out at all...call me crazy if you want,but yeah,i'm as simple as that...and besides,if i could do so much more in camp with that time,why not??hahaha... anyways,i've really been wondering a lot...and all this wondering i fear might 'encourage' me to take some action...oh wells...what i was wondering was,well, something that i don't think a lot of people would actually even imagined...what i actually have been wondering is that how much pain can a person really handle before his body shuts down naturally...well...if you think of it,its not that sadistic you know...its just that i wanted to test the body's endurance...well, more to my endurance that is...and its been very,very,very tempting to start making myself feel pain once again...its not that i'm being emo,i just wanna know... on a different note...its just around 22 days to my POP...it seems funny but time really flies actually...and a kind of sadness actually hit me...it finally don on me that i'm gonna lose some of my platoon mates after POP...well it may seem funny to any of you all,but i think i've really bonded with the guys in my platoon...2 months might not be a long time,but since we see each other almost everyday,do everything together,laughing and getting punished together,i think i've gotten real close to these guys...some of which i even call brothers...and i mean it...but then i have to accept that whenever there are hellos,there will be goodbyes...
and oh yeah...for the POP,i can only bring 2 people around,which to me is a very shitty thing...there's a lot of people who i really wanted to bring along...well not a lot,but probably around 8?they are the people who i really feel worthy to bring along...both my parents,alvinn and haiyu,and the starbucks family lynda charmaine kiat and han...so i guess i can only invite my parents along...to the rest of you,i'm real sorry...i was really wishing i could bring you guys down... anyways,its been quite a long post already without me realizing it...so i guess i'll stop here... Rayzor Timber, signing off...
[ burning out ] at 11/21/2009 04:18:00 PM
Sunday, November 01, 2009 the long awaited return???perhaps...here to update about my NS status...honestly,i'm actually doing quite all right...i feel at ease inside...cos at least i don't have to worry about 'the usual problems'... one thing though that i'm not really satisfied about...sometimes i feel they make us run too much...not saying that we shouldn't be running,but i feel that there should be a balance between building up your cardio and building up your upper body strength...as in yeah,i've improved on my 2.4 timing a hell of a lot, but i don't see how running can actually help me to do more pull ups...and that's fucked up cos no matter how good my running is,if i can't do pull ups,what's the fucking use?i'd still fail my IPPT in the end... on a side note...i'm honestly thinking of signing on...cos i think i fair better as a soldier then as a man outside...a whole lot of things i do not have to worry about... all right then,that'd be all for now... rayzor signing off...
