Monday, July 28, 2008 sumtings are missingi'm kind of losing myself again right now....its not that i wanted it to turn this way but,its just that somethings are beyond my control....make no mistake,its not that i'm weak,but certain things like the attitudes of those that are around me are simply not within my control....
i'm slowly beginning to question,what is it that i'm living for again....i am seriously on the verge of quitting from being a barista....i feel that its no longer worth my time anymore....whenever i work,i never ever thought of the pay there....it would be just a bonus to what i'm achieving....all i had ever wanted was to be able to make people smile and do something that was worth my while....but now it seems to me that all this no longer matter to me cos there are a few other people,who either knowingly or unknowingly,are taking all these joys away from me....yeah....its no longer worth it anymore....
and as for my social life...everything is ending....kind of fast too....i'm moving on alone again....as i should have always been....in truth,i've never felt more lonely than i'm feeling now...but then again,i knew this was coming a long,long time ago....oh wells....from friends to best friends to extended family to original family.... even though they may be around physically,i do not feel their presence....i travel alone once again i guess....but lonelier than i have ever been that is....
oh wells....i guess that's all....i just felt like writing whatever i was feeling down.... don't ask me why....i don't really know why....but i guess its ok.... yeah....
