`does the moon hear my cries?*

Thursday, May 29, 2008
wad SHUD i do????

haiz...i'm kinda confused now...i dunno wad 2 do...oh wells...hmmm... i dun tink she'll b reading dis posts tt i write so it shud b ok...damn...well,i wish she cud read dis entries of mine,but den again...all dis entries wud eventually bore sumone 2 death...

hmmm...i'm criousli kind of feeling down rite now...kol it emo if u wan but...i jus dunno wad 2 do...i mean,yeah,i truly like her a lot,but will it b reciprocated??? my track record hasn't been tt gd n bsides,i keep hearing dis voice inside my head telling me tt she's 2 gd 4 me...i dun wan de past 2 repeat itself,but i kinda dunno wad 2 do criousli...naz tells me i shud jus remain frens wif her...my oder frens tell me tt i shud jus try my luck since i wun noe till i try...honestly,i kinda dun dare... yeah i noe...i'm nt de kinda guy tt wud b so scared easily,but hey,i freeze 2 orite...even superman has a weakness,well,girls r my weakness...haiz...wad a very silly weakness i shud sae...but oh wells...

hmmm...aft de common test she said we'll like hang out 2gether or sumting...i wan 2 but will b a gd idea???i mean,i'm nt de typical bad boy but i'm nt tt nice either...i'm neither here nor dere anywhere...i reali am messed up...i reali wish 2 tell her everiting,but i dun wan 2 lose wad i haf now...i mean,it takes 4ever 2 haf a relationship wif sumone,but it cud take jus one word 2 end it...n i criousli do nt haf de courage 2 find out...haiz...will sumone pls us give me n advice or sumting??? i cud reali use a sound one...

~i wish i cud us tell u how i feel n make dis relationship b more den wad we haf now...but i dun wanna risk losing everiting...if dere's any chance 4 me,any possibility tt we cud ever b 2gether,pls show me a sign...i cannot afford 2 end my vision quest in a tragedy,wich will lead 2 de end of my eternity...~

Viprari™(de man hu does had a weakness)
signing off

[ burning out ]
at 5/29/2008 05:54:00 PM

Saturday, May 24, 2008
jus wad tym is it???

hey ppl...fuck...its 430 am in de morning n i'm still awake...not tt i dun wan 2, jus tt i can't...anws,i jus realised one ting...my blog doesn't really catch a lot of eyes... wells,if u ask me,tts both a gd ting n a bad ting...its gd cos i can complain abt ppl w/o dem noeing it n bad cos i dun get much attention...oh wells... haha...

anws...i really can't slp now...n i really dun haf aniting 2 do actuali...i'm like criousli bored 2 death rite now la...hmmm...nuting much i CAN do...hmmm...

and...de most fucked up ting is:'an idle mind is de devil's workshop...i'm been tinking a lot dis past few daes...yeah,my mind has been idle...i've criousli been tinking abt a lot a lot of tings...de tings tt i dun wanna rmbr,de tings tt i dun wanna 4get,de tings tt i had gone thru,de tings i wished i had done in my life...n it all actuali boils down 2 one fact...n de fact is,wadever hapens in life,we r sure 2 turn back n sae tings like:'i'm glad i did tt' or 'i wished i did tt' ..but all i wan 2 put across 2 my readers,(YES U!!!!!!!!!)is that dun ever regret wadever u haf done...noe dis,a worst ting den making a mistake is regretting it...dun ever regret but instead learn frm it...i'm nt saying tt its easy...i'm jus saying tt tt is de way 2 b...jus like de saying dun cry over spilled milk...de reason u dun cry is bcos de milk is oreadi spilled...in de same scenario,u can't possibly regret cos de ting already hapened 2 u...yeah...trust me on dis...de world works tt way...

n i've actuali been tinking abt my life...as in where its going n all...2 tell u de truth,i criousli do nt noe...i'm kinda lost rite now...lost 2 de point tt i dun noe where i am,where i came from or where i'm going...like criousli...i criousli do nt noe wad i'm looking 4...its as if tings r jus so...wrong...its as if i did a mistake tt i dun even noe i did sumwhere in my life earlier...its as if i nd sumting but i dunno wad...its as if i'm waiting 4 sum kind of answer,sum kind of sign...oh yeah,n 2 make matters worst,i kinda feel more alone den ever now...my phone tt cud nvr b silent 4 more den 30 min each dae is now eternally silent...its as if everione out dere sudd 4got me or sumting...hmmm...i dun really blame dem but,y all at once???

its reali funny how at one point ur life actuali looks great but actuali its jus a passing cloud tt is masking a really fearsome mountain tt wud catch pilots off guard..its jus so fucked up sumtyms...

~Hell calls me...And the wind that blows beckons me to take a step nearer...Its as if nature and the afterlife are working hand in hand to cast me to an endless sufferring of no measure...But be it powers of nature or the beasts of darkness,i will fight on and bide my time before i enter the eternal abyss~

VIPRARI,
signing out

[ burning out ]
at 5/24/2008 04:26:00 AM

Thursday, May 22, 2008
hmmm.....

hey ppl,kinda took sometym 2 write here again i shud sae...haha...anws dis past wk has criousli been both an up n down period 4 me la criousli...i'm like feeling so fucked up one moment,den i feel so gd again,den i feel fucked up all over again... oh wells...

anws,i'll tok a bit abt yest's happenings la...yest was de dae i had 2 do a play 4 my SEDP final project...so de original plan was actuali we wud b doing a spoof version of de movie Ironman,wich became Cardboardman in our version la...den last min i found out tt dey wanted 2 cancel de whole ting...like wad!?!?!?!?i was feeling criousli fucked la cos wen dey dcided 2 do de play de first tym,dey all voted 4 ME 2 b de main character cos dey said my personality fitted jus nice...ok fine...den aft tt dey told me i wud haf 2 do my own costume la cos every character will b responsible 4 his or her own costumes...fine...granted...i spend like 10 hrs BETWEEN work n sch jus 2 do de suit...didn't get enough sleep n everiting...n den aft tt dey told me last min it was cancelled...i was reali feeling so fucked up sia in de morning yest...i nvr chose 2 b de main character,i never chose 2 do de suit,n den i suffered all tt 4 nuting...like was sia...

but tings picked up aft tt...since de original plan was cancelled,we criousli needed a plan badly...so we gt one last minute...n i was sumhow stil one of de main characters la...but dis tym,my part wasn't a funny one,my part was de angry brother role...haha...so me n zik had 2 do like a fight scene la cos he was twotiming my sis n everiting...(its jus a play...haha...)den in de middle of my clash wif zik,dere was dis guy hu sudd came into de pic n tried 2 stop us frm fighting...i was like shocked la criousli 2 c him sudd come in out of nowhere... haha...den my oder classmates were like telling him tt it was jus a play n everiting la so he was like oh ok...haha...but anws,tt meant tt our play was a success!!!haha...i really,really felt so proud criousli wen i saw a complete stranger believing our act...haha...

but one ting is 4 certain la...de one hu coordinated de fight scene was....EHEM!!! me of course...haha...i sae its experience...haha...cos i did it b4 in sec sch so i somehow haf a background on it la...haha...

i tink me n my frens shud do it again sumtym...haha...do an acting in public jus 4 de kicks...haha...it'll b super fun dun u tink???

haha...anws i gtg now...haha...i've shared enough i guess...hopefully i'll rmbr 2 post more regularly nxt tym...haha...

c ya...
VIPRARI™
signing out

[ burning out ]
at 5/22/2008 10:11:00 AM

Wednesday, May 14, 2008
damn it ar...

my goodness...i can't believe i'm sick now...like wad de hell...my immune system has been great all along...till 2 daes ago tt is...fuck la...

n tt dae was a super shock 4 me...i was slping n woke up wif a start at 6 am in de morning cos my nose was sudd blocked...so i got up n went 2 de toilet 2 blow my nose...den wad freaked me out de most was cos all tt came out frm my nose was blood...n nt mucus like it shud...n de more freaky ting is cos tt in my whole 18 yrs, my nose has nvr bled at all...tt was how me falling ill n all started...but i was criousli fucking shocked la...

anws,during my SEDP class jus now, de final part of it was discussing abt a play tt we haf 2 create n act out nxt wk la...den dere was dis like confrontation btwn nadyah n zik...all zik did was add in an idea 4 de whole discussion la,but i tink nadyah took it as a challenge 2 her idea or sumting la...she was so confrontational n defensive n everiting la...bottom line,she can b quite stubborn n easily merajok one...like wad de hell la criousli...discussions r called discussions cos everione contributes n nt sumone contributes n de rest works on tt idea cos it HAS 2 b de one...tts criousli nt fair la...

aft tt,we split into 2 groups,one group under nadyah n de other group under zik of cos...n zik's theme was actuali 2 create a play based on de movie ironman, but it will b a spoof version called CARDBOARD MAN!!!like ok.....so it will oso b a comedy play la of cos..n de fucked up ting is,de whole group voted ME 2 b de main character,wich is cardboard man...like wtf criousli...sial ar...dey all sae cos dey nd sumone hu is naturally funny guy...fuck...dey sae tt cardboard man's personality wud surely fit mine...cibai...but oh wells...den sumore nd 2 create de costume n all...haiyo...as if i dun haf enough work on my hands...but den again, luckily i work in starbucks,gt a lot of unused cardboards...haha...

oh wells...i guess i gtg now...nd 2 haf a walk 2 clear de stupid blocked nose...n 2 smoke as well...haha...n 2 meditate on certain stuffs...oh wells...

Viprari,
signing out

[ burning out ]
at 5/14/2008 06:10:00 PM

Monday, May 12, 2008
VIPRARI

hey ppl...in de lib now...kinda bored so i tot i'd make an entry...hehe...hmmm... kinda bored now but i jus can't slp so yeah...oh wells...hmmm...

anws,yest i cuden fall aslp again(as owaes...hehe...)so yeah i kinda watched some dvds...2 actuali so yeah...slept quite late...started at arnd 12++ so i slept arnd 4++... de 2nd movie i watch was actuali de movie TOP GUN...haha...tt was de movie frm my childhood daes...one tt emphasizes on Heart,Guts,Soul,Honour.. one tt inspired me to become a pilot...haha...how i love tt dream of mine...2 fly a plane...defend my country thru dogfights...yeah...tt was my childhood dream...but look at me now...neither am i close nor reaching 2wards tt goal...haha...its funny...

oh wells...if i can't b de fastest n most dangerous in de air... i still can be de fastest n most dangerous on land...haha...i noe wad u're tinking... n de answers NO!!!i'm nt gonna b one of dose dangerous drivers hu risk oder ppl's lives at their wanting to feel de adrenaline rush...no way man...

wad i mean is i wanna haf my old body again...or even better...haha...be de fastest n dangerous on foot...tt wud b de best replacement of my old dream... haha...yeah...

n den,finally...i can live up 2 my dream of having a callsign tt will fit my personality...

Callsign:VIPRARI,de fastest n most dangerous...haha...yeah...

[ burning out ]
at 5/12/2008 03:30:00 PM

Saturday, May 10, 2008
Jus watch it

2dae was kinda fucked up...work i mean...kinda didn't realli feel well wen i came in...but i was busier den hell la...4 several straight hours ppl keep coming in,drinks kept moving in & out,partners moving around like clockwork bees...fuyoh...tt was a fucked up shift...

den aft tt,dere was dis incident wich i nearly blowed my top...i reali felt like losing my cool but den it wuden b worth it if i did...so yeah...dis was wad hapen actuali...u guys tell me whether u guys tink its justifiable wad my partner jessie is getting away wif...full tym partner somemore...fuck ar...

de queue was as long & constant as ever...den we haf de policy of a first come first serve basis...de basic requirement of any f&b line...jessie was at de bar den she had like one or two drinks la...(oh wells,she's nvr fast 2 begin wif...)den sudd dis regular customer comes in n she starts making tt drink first,despite having like 3 other drinks tt were from customers hu came first...i was like wtf???i told her 2 do de other drinks first n do tt drink in line la...she was like so insistent on giving out tt drink first...like wad de hell...i felt jus like giving her one tight slap on de spot sia...blood pressure lvl was oreadi up dere sia...

den one more incident,she did her bar drinks as owaes,nvr fast...did a lot of mess n didn't bother 2 clear it up...aft tt straight away went up 2 top ice aft clearing her drinks WITHOUT cleaning de mess...so i was like fine lor,i clean up de mess...aft tt de frap side was slamming like fuck so i had 2 sent de drinks out first despite having 2 do my own drinks...n wen i wanted 2 start n my drinks,she came in n interrupted me... wtf??? i'm doing my drinks,(not trying 2 b proud but i'm kinda like de most senior partner on de floor at tt tym)n u come in & instead of sending out de frap drinks u take over my deployment???HU DE FUCK DO U TINK U ARE???u make a mess of de whole area,i clean it up 4 u so everione else can use it normally,den u come in,take over my deployment n try 2 mess up de area again????cibai...

knn...if u reali wan 2 go against wad i sae wen u noe tt i haf more exp den u n tt everiting i tell u dere's a reason behind it,i dun c y i shuden lose my cool against u...watch it jessie,watch it...u better watch ur back at all tyms or oderwise i will hit u so hard u'll lose ur job n ur confidence...watch it...

[ burning out ]
at 5/10/2008 08:56:00 PM

Friday, May 09, 2008
i'm finally back i guess

hey ppl...back now i guess...haha...hmmm...i kinda 4got tt i had dis ting here... hehe...but now i sudd rmbr so yeah...i'm writing once again...

anws...since de last entry,nuting has been de same la...a lot of tings haf changed... 4 better or 4 worst i criousli haf no idea...oh wells,guess tings haf 2 changed...like de turnover of my workplace frm a formidable force 2 a force wif so many loopholes n everiting...work kinda sux now...if everione frm de old daes left,i wud haf gone as well...

hmmm...now more abt sch life...i've summarised de whole meaning of sch under 3 words...

1)homework
2)stress
3)boring

dis r de onli ting sch gives u...its damn fucked up la...haha...hmmm...i kinda dun reali look 4ward 2 going 2 sch dis yr...esp since i'm in diff classes n all...i'm kinda like a jumper now...i dun reali haf a specific class tt i belong 2...i'm kinda a part of a lot of diff classes...like wtf...its kinda fun n...well...fucked up at de same tym... kinda like dun haf a sense of belonging anywhere...yeah... hmmm...oh wells...jus gotta try my best 2 brush thru dis stupid semester n make it 2 de nxt... tts de onli goal i haf now...2 jus graduate frm dis poly...

on a diff not however,i jus wanna sae tt,i've been blind ALL DIS WHILE!!!!u've seen de posts last tym abt me trying 2 court diff girls n all right??i actually 4got abt de one girl,de reason y i came 2 np...like wtf...tt dae wen i saw her n she approached me,i was like so shocked...fuck sia,i feel kinda guilty n bad tt i 4got abt her...oh wells,hopefully my suspicions abt her haf been right all dis while la...if nt den i'll b on my journey again...hmmm...guess i'll haf 2 try my luck again...

hehe...long tym nvr write n dis post so long oreadi...haha...hmmm...i'll jus end here den...n 2 dose hu haf been waiting 4 an update esp,HERE IT IS!!!! haha... orite den...ray out...

[ burning out ]
at 5/09/2008 01:52:00 PM