Tuesday, August 28, 2007 move on ray,lonely wolf of de howling windi guess i noe wad my fault is now...i am 2 stuck in de life of my past...tts it..no more...i can't do it any more...oderwise i will nvr make it thru alive...gt 2 hooked up in de past till i can't slp,i can't eat,i can't rest...enuff is enuff...i will haf 2 move on...4 gd...hmmm... haiz...mayb i shud start doing sum drastic changes 2 my life again...to end all my misery...dey sae he hu makes a beast out of himself,gets rid of all de pain of being a man...mayb tt shud b me...de beast frm hell...de lonely wolf i was once but i condemned 2 stay away frm... hmmm...i had a tot jus now as i was boarding de train 4 work...wud it b better if my past didn't occur?wud it b wise 2 travel back in tym 2 de tym wen i was in sec 2 if i cud n switch places wif de young n innocent me n make sure all my past didn't hapen anyway...made sure i studied hard 4 my secondary sch...made sure i didn't accept her1elp wen she offered 2 help me...made sure i retaliated de dae her1godbro brought her12 c me n scold me 4 all de scars i had on my hands... made sure i didn't started hanging out wif her1 n her1 frens n start taking religious lessons frm her1...made sure i didn't koled her n tok on de fon 4 hour on end...made sure i didn't write on de table 2 communicate wif her2 wen i saw her2's name in de table n wanted 2 get 2 noe her2...made sure i didn't try 2 get 2 noe her3 n hanged out wif her3 on all dose late nitez...made sure i didn't go thru all dose shit 2 harden up my life...made sure i didn't haf 2 live my life in regret 4 doing all dose tings wen dey jus ended up worst den anyone cud haf imagined... if mayb i had done all dis,den mayb i wud haf been able 2 make sure i wuden haf 2 hear her1 saying thx to me wen i asked 4 a break up cos her1 had lost all her feelings 4 me...i cud make sure her2 wun b able 2 go wif my best fren n i ended up looking like de fool hu wud wait 4ever 4 an answer tt cuden exist...i cud make sure her3 wuden haf 2 admit she went wif me bcos she pitied me wen i broke up wif her...darn...so many regrets in my life...how i reali wish i cud turn back tym...n change my worn past... haiz...damn it...i will try n try my hardest 2 4get tt my past reali existed wif dis 3 girls in my life...try n try 2 4get tt my past had existed in de first place... try n try 2 jus b me... ~i reali dun wan my past,dun care abt de present,dun give a damn abt de future...i jus wan my life back... *4get ray...4get everiting...as if dey nvr hapened...jus rmbr one ting...u r a wolf hu has no past...u nvr had 1...*
[ burning out ] at 8/28/2007 12:25:00 AM
Thursday, August 23, 2007 challenges arrive wen u least expect dem...its funi isn't it?wen u r least prepared n least expecting it,challenges appear jus like tt...n wen u tink u're prepared enuff 4 it,de challenges sumhow seem 2 b more complicate den wad u were expecting...hmmm...jus sumting i tot of randomly actuali...nuting 2 do wif my dae at all...hahax... anws,i guess yest n 2dae wasn't my dae at all...so many tings didn't turn out rite...wadever it was,punctuality,workload,quality of service...all weren't rite... yest first ting was tt i arrive late for my work due to de rain n 2 de ppl hu dunnoe how fully utilize de space inside an mrt carriage!!!i had 2 forego like 5 trains...like wad de fuck...it was like fucking crowded at de doors but yet dere was empty spaces here n dere in de middle of de carriage... damn it...den at redhill sum1 pressed de emergency intercom or sumting cos dere was dis lady hu fainted...den de train was delayed at redhill n tiong bahru 4 like 10 min each... wad de hell... den reach my workplace,had to food sampling wif customers cos i was late n it jus hapened 2 b de tym tt my manager wanted 2 do food samping wif customers...wah...i wuden mind doing de food sampling wif customers actuali... tt is if i wasn't sick n my voice was like a toad croaking...haiz... den aft tt my manager 4got 2 send me for my break so i had to go for my break late...wah...den sumore instead of going off at 4 i had 2 go off at 6...all de tym working like a dog bcos gt 2 many ppl hu wanted 2 spend their money in starbucks...haiyo...hmmm...if tt wasn't bad enuff... 2dae i came earlier 4 my shift...den everiting went smoothly...until dis stupid lady hu wanted 2 write in a complain bcos her knife was dirty...in fact de knife wasn't dirty at all...it was jus tt dere were spots on de knife due 2 de fact tt it was wet n wasn't wiped dry but left 2 dry by evaporation of de water...haiyo...n it was me hu gave de customer tt knife...my god... den jus now had 2 go off late again cos;yet again;dere were 2 any ppl hu wanted 2 spend their money in starbucks...haiyo...my pay better be worth it or else i'd b working like a dog 4 nuting lor...haiya... anws...on a diff note...i'm in training now 2 b a true gentleman...even though i dun actuali noe where 2 start...kinda lost in between,neither being here nor dere...yeah...even though sum ppl tell me tt i oreadi am a gentleman compared to oders,i noe i'm nt dere yet...tts for sure...i'm stil nt yet a true gentleman... but i'll make it dere sumhow...i'm sure...anws,if at any tym u find me nt being patient or a gentleman,pls do point out 2 me...i will work on it... ~owaes expect de unexpected,travel de road less travelled,walk de path of mystery n explore de unknown~ wow...didn't noe i cud ever b dis intelligent 2 cum up wif a phrase like dis... hahax...
[ burning out ] at 8/23/2007 07:09:00 PM
Saturday, August 11, 2007 nice blog eh?hehehe...yo...like my new blog?hahax...its more deviant n everiting...hahax...it feels as if i haf a new blog altogether...hahax...anws,credit goes 2 xiaoqing,or huiqing...(i dun reali noe wich is ur name...mind telling me?)hahax...anws...
i lost my fon in de early hrs of national dae...suay rite?actuali it wasn't lost la but stolen...2gether wif my wallet...hmmm...but i guess wads done is done...no use harping over it...
2dae went to celebrate derek's bdae aft work...hahax...hapi bdae dude...we ate at breeks den aft tt play pool...n as a closing event,we ate cheesecakes frm starbucks(sponsored by me...hehehe)in public!!!hahax...how often do u c dis kind of activities?hahax...n we took many crazy pics la,esp me...hehehe...
anws,reali had a gd tym 2dae la...even though dere were onli 5 of us,i wuden haf missed it 4 de world!!!hahax...can't wait 4 de nxt outing...mayb on my bdae??? hahax...but anws,i reali felt gd,cos de oder 3 had presents 4 him but i didn't...but i guess i did give him sumting aft all...a free drink earlier in de aftnn,n a paid cheesecake in de evening...hapi bdae derek!!!hope u enjoyed urself as much as i did...yeah...
anws,gtg now...peace out ppl...n feel free 2 utilize my new blog...hehehe...n thx again xiaoqing,or huiqing...hahax...
wen all tings end,n tings can't n wun turn out rite,n wen i'm uneasy wif confrontation,i will seek refuge in de darkest corners of my heart,where i will heal my scars n seek refuge...build my sanctuary frm within,n make a beast out of myself...as i was b4...
~de lonely wolf of de howling wind~
[ burning out ] at 8/11/2007 10:54:00 PM
Tuesday, August 07, 2007 Lone Wolf once again...yet again...hmmm...quite sumtym since i blogged here...nt tt i had much tym 2 myself anws... but hell,guess i'm back...a lot of tings haf been happening though...but its nt like i was expecting 4 all of it 2 hapen...tings jus hapen i guess...n i'm de one hu's forced 2 drop 2 de ground n stay there...n i'm tired of it,tired of oways having 2 get up again n start over...hell... last thurs i felt so down...as if hell bought my soul at a veri low price n then dumped it back cos it was 2 useless...anws,dis is what hapened pretty much... i noe of dis girl...i guess i was a bit 2 blind 2 haf onli taken her signs as a gd ting n nt de flipside wich it cud b...but...haiz...its nt totally my fault,cos she in a way lied 2 me as well...hmmm...i asked her whether she had a guy or nt,she asked me y...i told her sum cock n bull story so i wuden b obvious...den i asked her,"so tt means u're attached la?"...n she said:"i didn't sae tt"...hmmm...n i found out tt sat tt she had a bf...for nearly a year readi...fuck...wad was a guy like me supposed 2 tink?i'm nt veri gd wif girls...i'm nt able 2 tell wad it is she was hinting tt accurately...wad de hell... i reali feel so sucky...i'm 2 naive 2 de extend tt ppl can lie 2 me wif their eyes closed...haiz...i haf 2 grow reliant on myself n myself onli...no longer shall i wan 2 get 2 noe more ppl 2 lead 2 my own downfall...enuff is enuff...no longer shall i b a victim of my own naivety...hell no...
